Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Exploration of Sleep
I did the exploration of sleep exercise last night. Very relaxed and very relaxing. I've been through this exercise a number of times, so I paid less attention to the verbal instructions/guidance, and focused more on the sound vibrations. I ended up drifting off into that state somewhere between being awake and being asleep. I never hit the "no man's land" of blackness and the absence of memory, though. I was always aware enough where I retained memory of the visual images flitting through my mind, and recalling vague interactions with them. Before I completely drifted off to sleep, though, some noise in the house kicked me back into full C1. That was 2 minutes before the end of the exercise. I went to sleep (in bed) directly after packing up my headphones.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Focus 10 Freeflow
I did free flow Focus 10 last night. Found a different place in the house to do the exercise, which was much less distracting and more comfortable.
I didn't have any particular plan or expectation for this exercise. I was interested to see where the flow would take me. I was surprised to sense two more fears that needed to be addressed. These are fairly big fears--deep rooted and hard to extricate. Just to be clear, I'm not necessarily talking about fear in the sense of something that makes me quake in my boots. But, rather, a fear that prevents me from functioning optimally and interrelating with others effectively.
I went through the process of energy conversion with these fears, addressing the emotion and cleansing the memories. I have a feeling that I'm really just hitting the tip of the iceberg, and that I have a lot more work to do with fully reconciling these fears.
My physical body did not fall away like it has before in Focus 10. Last night's exercise was very much mental, alert, awake, and very aware.
I didn't have any particular plan or expectation for this exercise. I was interested to see where the flow would take me. I was surprised to sense two more fears that needed to be addressed. These are fairly big fears--deep rooted and hard to extricate. Just to be clear, I'm not necessarily talking about fear in the sense of something that makes me quake in my boots. But, rather, a fear that prevents me from functioning optimally and interrelating with others effectively.
I went through the process of energy conversion with these fears, addressing the emotion and cleansing the memories. I have a feeling that I'm really just hitting the tip of the iceberg, and that I have a lot more work to do with fully reconciling these fears.
My physical body did not fall away like it has before in Focus 10. Last night's exercise was very much mental, alert, awake, and very aware.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Refresh and Recharge
Tonight's exercise was Refresh and Recharge. I was distracted throughout almost the entire session by pervasive itching. Not funny. I probably need to vacuum and clean the couch downstairs. The combination of pet hair, itty bitty bugs, and whatever children bring into the house is probably contributing to my discomfort.
That being said... I never really slipped into a good Focus 10 tonight. In fact, the distractions prevented me from really letting go, mentally. I never really let go of the physical state. Despite this, the exercise did successfully guide me through the perception of several fears, associated emotions, and associated memories. In past sessions of this type, I found it difficult to perceive more than one fear (of the three they guide you through). Not tonight. There were three interrelated fears that I needed resolved and converted into beneficial energy. They all tied back to the same associated emotions, but very different trigger events and memories. The last fear was very unexpected. I don't think that I ever really allowed myself to consciously acknowledge it. I was somewhat hesitant to let it go... not sure why. But let it go I did. And with it, the associated emotions. I am taking the next few steps toward improvement.
That being said... I never really slipped into a good Focus 10 tonight. In fact, the distractions prevented me from really letting go, mentally. I never really let go of the physical state. Despite this, the exercise did successfully guide me through the perception of several fears, associated emotions, and associated memories. In past sessions of this type, I found it difficult to perceive more than one fear (of the three they guide you through). Not tonight. There were three interrelated fears that I needed resolved and converted into beneficial energy. They all tied back to the same associated emotions, but very different trigger events and memories. The last fear was very unexpected. I don't think that I ever really allowed myself to consciously acknowledge it. I was somewhat hesitant to let it go... not sure why. But let it go I did. And with it, the associated emotions. I am taking the next few steps toward improvement.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Into Focus 10
Tonight I did Discovery III - Advanced Focus 10. I moved to the couch downstairs in the living room. It's much more comfortable for me to be prone and do these exercises than the one upstairs. It also has an ottoman that I can rest my arm on. About 2/3 through this exercise, my cat decided to curl up on that arm, which was distracting.
I was reintroduced to the Resonant Energy Balloon (REBAL) this evening. The REBAL is a cocoon of my own energy that wraps around my body like a shell. I form my REBAL by collecting energy up into my head through resonant tuning, then directing that energy out of my head like a fountain and down around my body to re-enter through my feet. Because the energy is not something that can be sensed with the physical five senses, much of this is a pure mental exercise. Objectively, I have not yet found a way to verify that the exercise of producing a REBAL actually does anything. Subjectively, all I can really do at this point is press the "I believe" button and trust that the process is working. While this is adequate for now, at some point I have a deep seated need to have more concrete verification that the REBAL is an actual manifestation of my energy.
I have worked with the REBAL exercise on and off for almost two years now. With varying degrees of success. This evening produced a new and somewhat interesting sensation: As I was directing my REBAL down and around my body in a spiral, I suddenly had this mental visualization of energy swirling around me like a vortex. My expectation up until this point was that my REBAL energy was smooth and slow turning. So to have a visualization of my REBAL as this corded energy churning around me, looking a lot like cords of water in a whirlpool, if you take those cords out of the water and turn them into energy, was unexpected. The rate at which the energy turned was also surprising. The churn rate was quite fast, nothing at all like the slow, smooth image that I had always envisioned. I can still replay the imagery now in my head as I type.
I felt a profound reassurance at the fact that my REBAL is strong enough to completely contain and focus my energy inside of it. It not only protects my energy from outside influences, it provides me with complete control over how and where I choose to direct my energy. I need to actively practice forming and reabsorbing my REBAL in the C1 state.
The transition into Focus 10 tonight was less interesting. I think that I carried with myself the expectation that shifting from C1 into Focus 10 was going to produce a very state of mental awareness. I think that subsconsciously dwelling on this preconception prohibited me from really moving fully into Focus 10. I noticed that my breathing, while shallow, was more rapid than usual for these exercises. The fact that I noticed my breathing at all tells me that I need to let go of my preconceptions and just trust the process.
I was reintroduced to the Resonant Energy Balloon (REBAL) this evening. The REBAL is a cocoon of my own energy that wraps around my body like a shell. I form my REBAL by collecting energy up into my head through resonant tuning, then directing that energy out of my head like a fountain and down around my body to re-enter through my feet. Because the energy is not something that can be sensed with the physical five senses, much of this is a pure mental exercise. Objectively, I have not yet found a way to verify that the exercise of producing a REBAL actually does anything. Subjectively, all I can really do at this point is press the "I believe" button and trust that the process is working. While this is adequate for now, at some point I have a deep seated need to have more concrete verification that the REBAL is an actual manifestation of my energy.
I have worked with the REBAL exercise on and off for almost two years now. With varying degrees of success. This evening produced a new and somewhat interesting sensation: As I was directing my REBAL down and around my body in a spiral, I suddenly had this mental visualization of energy swirling around me like a vortex. My expectation up until this point was that my REBAL energy was smooth and slow turning. So to have a visualization of my REBAL as this corded energy churning around me, looking a lot like cords of water in a whirlpool, if you take those cords out of the water and turn them into energy, was unexpected. The rate at which the energy turned was also surprising. The churn rate was quite fast, nothing at all like the slow, smooth image that I had always envisioned. I can still replay the imagery now in my head as I type.
I felt a profound reassurance at the fact that my REBAL is strong enough to completely contain and focus my energy inside of it. It not only protects my energy from outside influences, it provides me with complete control over how and where I choose to direct my energy. I need to actively practice forming and reabsorbing my REBAL in the C1 state.
The transition into Focus 10 tonight was less interesting. I think that I carried with myself the expectation that shifting from C1 into Focus 10 was going to produce a very state of mental awareness. I think that subsconsciously dwelling on this preconception prohibited me from really moving fully into Focus 10. I noticed that my breathing, while shallow, was more rapid than usual for these exercises. The fact that I noticed my breathing at all tells me that I need to let go of my preconceptions and just trust the process.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Introduction to Focus 10
I did the exercise for the introduction to Focus 10 tonight. To maximize comfort, I wore loose sweatpants, socks, and a tee. Started the exercise at 10:30pm and ended at 11:10pm.
The energy conversion box once again proved to be a useful tool. There were a number of things on my mind that had my wheels turning. I placed these into the box, closed the lid, and promptly forgot about them for the duration of the exercise. I need to learn how to apply the use of this tool to the C1 state.
After the resonant tuning and affirmation, I transitioned from C1 into the Focus 3 state. I noticed a perceptible shift in awareness. With eyes closed and body prone in a relaxed state, my mind felt like it expanded internally. Not a physical expansion, but a mental sensation of expansion. Somewhat like my mind was expanding inside of the space that it occupies. Physically, my brain occupies the space inside of my skull. But, since I know that it is physically impossible for my brain to comfortably and safely expand in that particular space, I conclude that my mind is coexistent with my brain, while simultaneously occupying some parallel, non-physical space. It is within this perceived space that I felt my mind expand.
At this point, I was neither asleep nor dreaming. I was still physically aware of my body, but that physical awareness was more subdued. There were a few times where my face itched, and I still retained immediate control over my physical limbs to reach up, scratch the itch, then relax right back into the Focus 3 state.
After relaxing in Focus 3 for some period of time, I was led through the ten-point relaxation technique for entering the Focus 10 state. Focus 10 is the state where the mind is awake and alert, the physical body deeply asleep. It is not a sleep or dream state. However, much like transitioning from fully awake consciousness into sleep, it is important to let the physical senses fade away and allow the desired state to emerge. There is a very fine line between Focus 10 and the sleep state. It takes some degree of discipline not to drift off into a full blown sleep state.
The best way that I can describe the Focus 10 state that I experience tonight is this: I relaxed by physical body through the ten-point relaxation exercise. Starting with all of the muscles in my head and neck, I told them to relax, go limp, and sleep. Which they did. Once fully relaxed, the physical relaxation that I felt in my head trickled down into my brain. Once my brain understood how that relaxation felt, it told the various other parts of my physical body to relax, go limp, and sleep. Which they all did. At some point--it's impossible to say when because time ceases to be measured in this type of state--all awareness of my physical body had completely drifted away. What I was left with was a level of mental activity, completely constrained to my mind. I was alert on some level, aware that I was not sleeping but also not fully conscious. Ideas and streams of thought went in and out of my mind, but they lacked coherency. I could also hear the periodic voice-over by the exercise guide. From previous experience, I know that my sense of hearing completely shuts down if I have drifted off into sleep. So tonight, I maintained some level of balance between fully consciousness and sleeping.
The exercise is fairly long: 40 minutes in total. 40 minutes of many things in the C1 state is measurably long. I note that my awareness of time disappeared at some point in the Focus 10 state and reappeared when the exercise transitioned me back into the C1 state. For some period of time, time ceased to be important, and hence unmeasured. The best analogous state to this is the fully sleeping state, where time also has no meaning.
The energy conversion box once again proved to be a useful tool. There were a number of things on my mind that had my wheels turning. I placed these into the box, closed the lid, and promptly forgot about them for the duration of the exercise. I need to learn how to apply the use of this tool to the C1 state.
After the resonant tuning and affirmation, I transitioned from C1 into the Focus 3 state. I noticed a perceptible shift in awareness. With eyes closed and body prone in a relaxed state, my mind felt like it expanded internally. Not a physical expansion, but a mental sensation of expansion. Somewhat like my mind was expanding inside of the space that it occupies. Physically, my brain occupies the space inside of my skull. But, since I know that it is physically impossible for my brain to comfortably and safely expand in that particular space, I conclude that my mind is coexistent with my brain, while simultaneously occupying some parallel, non-physical space. It is within this perceived space that I felt my mind expand.
At this point, I was neither asleep nor dreaming. I was still physically aware of my body, but that physical awareness was more subdued. There were a few times where my face itched, and I still retained immediate control over my physical limbs to reach up, scratch the itch, then relax right back into the Focus 3 state.
After relaxing in Focus 3 for some period of time, I was led through the ten-point relaxation technique for entering the Focus 10 state. Focus 10 is the state where the mind is awake and alert, the physical body deeply asleep. It is not a sleep or dream state. However, much like transitioning from fully awake consciousness into sleep, it is important to let the physical senses fade away and allow the desired state to emerge. There is a very fine line between Focus 10 and the sleep state. It takes some degree of discipline not to drift off into a full blown sleep state.
The best way that I can describe the Focus 10 state that I experience tonight is this: I relaxed by physical body through the ten-point relaxation exercise. Starting with all of the muscles in my head and neck, I told them to relax, go limp, and sleep. Which they did. Once fully relaxed, the physical relaxation that I felt in my head trickled down into my brain. Once my brain understood how that relaxation felt, it told the various other parts of my physical body to relax, go limp, and sleep. Which they all did. At some point--it's impossible to say when because time ceases to be measured in this type of state--all awareness of my physical body had completely drifted away. What I was left with was a level of mental activity, completely constrained to my mind. I was alert on some level, aware that I was not sleeping but also not fully conscious. Ideas and streams of thought went in and out of my mind, but they lacked coherency. I could also hear the periodic voice-over by the exercise guide. From previous experience, I know that my sense of hearing completely shuts down if I have drifted off into sleep. So tonight, I maintained some level of balance between fully consciousness and sleeping.
The exercise is fairly long: 40 minutes in total. 40 minutes of many things in the C1 state is measurably long. I note that my awareness of time disappeared at some point in the Focus 10 state and reappeared when the exercise transitioned me back into the C1 state. For some period of time, time ceased to be important, and hence unmeasured. The best analogous state to this is the fully sleeping state, where time also has no meaning.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Hemisync Reboot
It has been at least 6 months since I used the Hemisync Gateway audio CDs. Enough time has expired where I am ready to pick them up again. Because so much time has gone by, I am starting from square one. A reboot, you might say. I usually find quiet time to do the exercises at night, after everyone else in the house is asleep. So I'm going to try and record my impressions and experiences the day after.
I listened to the first exercise last night. It was the introduction to the hemispheric synchronization (hemisync) process. Part of the exercise reacquainted me with the feeling of being immersed in hemisync. I had forgotten how relaxing it is. For most of the exercise, I did not leave C1 (fully awake consciousness). Fundamental mental tools were introduced: The energy conversion box, the affirmation, resonant tuning (and rhythmic breathing).
I am finding the energy conversion box to be an easier tool to work with this time around. I let go of trying to literally visualize it, and instead form a mental image of it. It is not visual in the sense of seeing something in C1, but rather my mind understands what it is, what it does, and where (metaphorically speaking) it is. I find it a very useful place to put all of my normal, everyday anxieties. It's the one place that I have found that I can leave them behind and focus on other things.
I have a new appreciation for the affirmation. I have new understanding that the subconscious layers of the brain have been so conditioned in our culture to resist anything outside of the rational norm. The affirmation is a tool to help break down this barrier, effectively telling the subconscious that it is acceptable to experience something that does not make rational sense, but is still very real. It's just a different level of reality than we in the Western world are accustomed to. Through repetition, it becomes easier for my mind to accept this.
I must be very cautious with this, however. I have learned through painful experience that the use of repetition to "teach" the subconscious mind that an experience is acceptable is very powerful. If the wrong teaching is reinforced, the mind can come to believe a distortion of reality. I need to stay on guard to prevent myself from slipping down that slope again.
The exercise ended with a transition from C1 into Focus 3. Focus 3 is where the brain hemisphere's are fully synchronized. I was acutely aware of my body entering a state of tranquility. My mind was alert, my body still responsive, but I could definitely feel the physical senses dulling. My consciousness shifted almost entirely inward, to the mind. I enjoy that feeling. It's a quiet place where my mind becomes so focused that I can meditate on complex problems and seek answers and guidance without being distracted at every turn.
I listened to the first exercise last night. It was the introduction to the hemispheric synchronization (hemisync) process. Part of the exercise reacquainted me with the feeling of being immersed in hemisync. I had forgotten how relaxing it is. For most of the exercise, I did not leave C1 (fully awake consciousness). Fundamental mental tools were introduced: The energy conversion box, the affirmation, resonant tuning (and rhythmic breathing).
I am finding the energy conversion box to be an easier tool to work with this time around. I let go of trying to literally visualize it, and instead form a mental image of it. It is not visual in the sense of seeing something in C1, but rather my mind understands what it is, what it does, and where (metaphorically speaking) it is. I find it a very useful place to put all of my normal, everyday anxieties. It's the one place that I have found that I can leave them behind and focus on other things.
I have a new appreciation for the affirmation. I have new understanding that the subconscious layers of the brain have been so conditioned in our culture to resist anything outside of the rational norm. The affirmation is a tool to help break down this barrier, effectively telling the subconscious that it is acceptable to experience something that does not make rational sense, but is still very real. It's just a different level of reality than we in the Western world are accustomed to. Through repetition, it becomes easier for my mind to accept this.
I must be very cautious with this, however. I have learned through painful experience that the use of repetition to "teach" the subconscious mind that an experience is acceptable is very powerful. If the wrong teaching is reinforced, the mind can come to believe a distortion of reality. I need to stay on guard to prevent myself from slipping down that slope again.
The exercise ended with a transition from C1 into Focus 3. Focus 3 is where the brain hemisphere's are fully synchronized. I was acutely aware of my body entering a state of tranquility. My mind was alert, my body still responsive, but I could definitely feel the physical senses dulling. My consciousness shifted almost entirely inward, to the mind. I enjoy that feeling. It's a quiet place where my mind becomes so focused that I can meditate on complex problems and seek answers and guidance without being distracted at every turn.
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